Are you over "Confusion"?

Ever had a choice, and you just couldn’t seem to make it? Or felt confused by it?

At an instinctive level you do know what decision to make for you (heart), but may not trust (head) that outcome best serves everyone involved. We are pulled from our heart to our head, to inject doubt into a personal truth.  You usually can’t determine what to trust within your own needs, because you questioned yourself.

For a while it seemed making even basic decisions in all areas were hard for me.

Let me give an example...

My mum and I would go clothes shopping and she would get frustrated with my inability to chose. I really had no idea what I was looking for, and when I found things I liked, I continually questioned if I needed them, even way after leaving the store.

In hindsight those indecisions were me trying to break me free into establishing my own self, my needs and desires, as opposed to that of the fashion world or that of my family and friends etc. Here I was spoilt with choice, unable to decide, led by my past conditioning, because I was holding beliefs that weren’t mine to hold. I was being led by external programs conflicting with my inner needs, and my needs were asking me to find ME first! I was also window shopping my needs verses desires, establishing I could have both, but what limiting beliefs did I hold around that, what was most important to me?
Until I knew what I was looking for I would not be clear in my needs, thus indecisive. I eventually got the message, and my Mum is grateful for that too ;). I have learned that what is right for you is right for everyone – but the journey to that conclusion, or the transition into it, may impact others...and that is ok. You can discover where limits sit by pressing against them. We are all learning through it.

If you are confused perhaps ask yourself

1. What is it I need (not want necessarily)? If you don’t know this, then the confusion recipe brews. Needs are usually more core survival mechanisms we live by. Basic needs are food, water, air, shelter. In our developed western world, they tend to be more complex but just as necessary for us.
2. Have I judged my desire to have it? (Usually for the ideal of another’s thinking, that you are injecting into your need, such as keeping the peace or approval in love).  If so, your confusion recipie will bubble.  I did in my shopping example, as I could have had a whole new  wardrobe, but I didn’t know what I wanted/needed and I  worried about the cost and the effect on others etc. I needed to put me into the equation, and trust it.
3. If you have judged it you may need to convince your initial need of its validity. Why are you confusing yourself? Either step back from the judgement itself or research, get further information on how to meet your need pre making a decision. Float other ideas/alternatives. Remember your gut knows what you need, so take courage, don’t deny it. TIP: Ask your body what feels right (if it tenses with an idea, it is wrong idea at that time, try another avenue/idea).
4. Action in this case is decision. Sometimes putting aside the need to make a decision is the best decision... It may not be the time for it yet. Other times, a decision will become clear after steps 1-3 are addressed.  Either way assists confusion.
   

 
Clear as mud?! May it be clear as rain. Trust you! Trust you deserve to have your needs met, and you are responsible for that. Know change can be awkward but don’t complicate it. Nobody is perfect, and we will never get it right all the time, embrace that! Enjoy your processing, invest humour over stress into it. The more you laugh, live and love, the less chance confusion will matter anyway! xoJK